Cancer is many things. Yes it is ugly and difficult but it can also be beautiful and amazing. Cancer teaches you how to live, how to love and how to laugh. Cancer changes you inside and out. Yes my body is scared and rugged and its been through more than I ever thought it could handle but I'm proud of every scar and every imperfection. The following pictures were taken this summer just a couple of weeks before my port-a-cath was removed.
"...There was nothing attractive about him,
nothing to cause us to take a second look.
He was looked down on and passed over,
a man who suffered, who knew pain firsthand.
One look at him and people turned away.
We looked down on him, thought he was scum.
But the fact is, it was our pains he carried—
our disfigurements, all the things wrong with us."
nothing to cause us to take a second look.
He was looked down on and passed over,
a man who suffered, who knew pain firsthand.
One look at him and people turned away.
We looked down on him, thought he was scum.
But the fact is, it was our pains he carried—
our disfigurements, all the things wrong with us."
From Isaiah 53 Msg
"There’s no need to fear for I’m your God.
I’ll give you strength. I’ll help you.
I’ll hold you steady, keep a firm grip on you."
I’ll give you strength. I’ll help you.
I’ll hold you steady, keep a firm grip on you."
Isaiah 41:10
If you only look at us,
you might well miss the brightness. We carry this precious Message
around in the unadorned clay pots of our ordinary lives. That’s to
prevent anyone from confusing God’s incomparable power with us. As it
is, there’s not much chance of that. You know for yourselves that we’re
not much to look at. We’ve been surrounded and battered by troubles, but
we’re not demoralized; we’re not sure what to do, but we know that God
knows what to do; we’ve been spiritually terrorized, but God hasn’t left
our side; we’ve been thrown down, but we haven’t broken. What they did
to Jesus, they do to us—trial and torture, mockery and murder; what
Jesus did among them, he does in us—he lives! Our lives are at constant
risk for Jesus’ sake, which makes Jesus’ life all the more evident in
us. While we’re going through the worst, you’re getting in on the best! 2 Corinthians 4:7-12
“Still, if you set your heart on God
and reach out to him,
If you scrub your hands of sin
and refuse to entertain evil in your home,
You’ll be able to face the world unashamed
and keep a firm grip on life, guiltless and fearless.
You’ll forget your troubles;
they’ll be like old, faded photographs.
Your world will be washed in sunshine,
every shadow dispersed by dayspring.
Full of hope, you’ll relax, confident again;
you’ll look around, sit back, and take it easy.
Expansive, without a care in the world,
you’ll be hunted out by many for your blessing.
But the wicked will see none of this.
They’re headed down a dead-end road
with nothing to look forward to—nothing.”
and reach out to him,
If you scrub your hands of sin
and refuse to entertain evil in your home,
You’ll be able to face the world unashamed
and keep a firm grip on life, guiltless and fearless.
You’ll forget your troubles;
they’ll be like old, faded photographs.
Your world will be washed in sunshine,
every shadow dispersed by dayspring.
Full of hope, you’ll relax, confident again;
you’ll look around, sit back, and take it easy.
Expansive, without a care in the world,
you’ll be hunted out by many for your blessing.
But the wicked will see none of this.
They’re headed down a dead-end road
with nothing to look forward to—nothing.”
Job 11:13-20
And I’m going to keep that
celebration going because I know how it’s going to turn out. Through
your faithful prayers and the generous response of the Spirit of Jesus
Christ, everything he wants to do in and through me will be done. I can
hardly wait to continue on my course. I don’t expect to be embarrassed
in the least. On the contrary, everything happening to me in this jail
only serves to make Christ more accurately known, regardless of whether I
live or die. They didn’t shut me up; they gave me a pulpit! Alive, I’m
Christ’s messenger; dead, I’m his bounty. Life versus even more life! I
can’t lose.
Philippians 1:19-21
As long as I’m
alive in this body, there is good work for me to do. If I had to choose
right now, I hardly know which I’d choose. Hard choice! The desire to
break camp here and be with Christ is powerful. Some days I can think of
nothing better. But most days, because of what you are going through, I
am sure that it’s better for me to stick it out here. So I plan to be
around awhile, companion to you as your growth and joy in this life of
trusting God continues. You can start looking forward to a great reunion
when I come visit you again. We’ll be praising Christ, enjoying each
other.
Philippians 1:22-26
As thanksgiving is quickly approaching I have spent a lot of time reflecting already on what I'm thankful for. First
of all I'm super thankful for the awesome God that I serve. He has held
me in his arms and carried me through the mess of these last couple of
years. I'm also thankful for my husband of 12 years who hasn't left my
side even for a second. He is my rock and without him I don't know where
I would be. I'm thankful for my three little girls who bring me
laughter and joy each and every day. I'm thankful for life and as crazy
as it sounds I'm thankful for cancer. Its been an awesome journey of
self-discovery. Finally I'm thankful for all the amazing women I have
met because of breast cancer. Some of my best friends now are survivors
and knowing that I never would have met them without having been down
this road makes it all the more worth it. Speaking of being thankful I'm also super thankful for my hubby for taking these photos for me. He did an amazing job on these photos.
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